


Love on a Battlefield

by orphan_account



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oneshot, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 17:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17853947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hal blames himself for his entire world crumbling, while David comes to terms with his feelings.





	Love on a Battlefield

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING.  
> Hal cuts himself within the first two paragraphs. Please read with caution.

Hal bit onto a wad of toilet paper. He didn’t care that it was sticking to the roof of his mouth and shredding as he ground his teeth. His hand slipped while he was trying too hard to keep it steady, and the razor sliced too deep. He panicked, the hot blood running his arm and the cut pulsing hard. Hal let out a wail of fear and pain, toilet paper coming out of his mouth and dropping the razor. He slapped his free hand over his mouth, praying that David didn’t hear his cry. He heard the tv pause.

A knock on the door. Hal cursed under his heavy breath. “Is everything okay Hal?” He knew he should’ve told Dave that he wasn’t okay. That he needed his help. David knew a ton about medical procedures and could’ve helped his cut… cuts. “Yes, I’m alright. Don’t worry,” he said unconvincingly, but David knew not to pry. Hal heard him walk away from the door and he released the breath he didn’t know he was holding. His arm was still bleeding like crazy, and he had forgotten. In yet another panic, Hal tried his best to clean up as much blood as he could before tending to his wound, messily. 

He wasn’t very good at it, but after a little while, the cut stopped bleeding. He cleaned up his mess and pulled down his sleeves, wobbly from the amount of blood he lost. His head felt cold and he could feel himself slipping, his vision becoming hazy. Another knock from David. “Hal, are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been in there for 40 minutes.” Hal staggered to the door, trying his hardest to muster enough strength to even walk. 

“Yeah, I’m finished. Sorry for the concern,” He said as he opened the door, the soldier looming over him made him dizzy. Hal couldn’t keep himself upright, and he started to fall. David grabbed him by his arm to keep him from falling to the ground. Hal whimpered in pain, feeling it gush out again. David let out a curse. Hal passed out, and the bandage was soaked with blood. He lifted Hal carefully, putting him on the couch and rushed to get medical supplies. 

David cared for the wound tenderly, carefully disinfecting it and stitching it up. He made sure the stitches were secure and the bandages were firm and in place but not uncomfortable for the small scientist. David was appalled at the amount of cuts on Hal’s wrists, and how many times it seemed that he accidentally cut too deep and didn’t ask for help. He never asked. Dave felt ashamed, he should’ve seen this coming, he should’ve paid more attention to the hours Hal spent in the bathroom. With the heavy breathing and repressed moans, he always assumed he was jerking off.

When Hal was patched up and breathing at a steady rate, David carried his damaged partner to his bed and tucked him in sweetly. Without thinking, he slipped under the blankets with Hal, pulling his cold, fragile body close to his. David didn’t care if Hal would be freaked out, yell at him, or be flustered at the closeness of their bodies. All he cared about right now was if Hal was comfortable and safe. He pulled him closer. He thought about all the lives he couldn’t save, beginning to cry when he thought about losing Hal. If he lost Hal, he’d lose everything. He pressed his face into Hal’s hair and cried himself to sleep.  
\-----------

When Hal woke, he noticed he was warm and his bandages looked like they were replaced and put on neatly. He could feel David pressed up against his back, breathing softly. Hal’s face turned red and he shuffled away, getting up out of the bed. David looked more peaceful in this sleep than any other, everything about his face was soft and calm, and even happy. Hal could stand, and he felt strong enough to walk again. He used that strength to grudge towards the bathroom. 

As Hal locked the door pulled a razor out of the drawer, David jiggled the handle banged on the door. It was more urgent and pressing than the light and gentle knocking he used before. “I’m using the bathroom Dave, you’ll have to wait your turn.” David pounded harder. “Hal, we both know that’s not what you’re doing. Please, come out.” Hal winced at the pain in David’s voice. He pressed himself against the door. “Please leave me alone David, I need my privacy.”

He heard David sob against the door. “I can’t lose you too!” He cried, banging against the door again. “Hal, open the door…” Hal began to cry, but didn’t stop. He continued to pull a razor out of the drawer, and David started throwing his body against the door, yelling and screaming for Hal to come out. “Hal, please, we can talk about this! I can help you!” Hal pressed the blade against his wrist. David yelled louder.

Hal’s hands shook too hard and he dropped the razor on the floor, and he sobbed as he tried to pick it up. When he managed to, there was a loud bang and the doorknob blew out. The door swung open and David dropped the handgun he used to shoot the door open so he could grab Hal by the collar of his shirt. His hands twisted and he pulled Hal up. “Drop. The razor.” He held out his hand, and Hal obediently dropped it in. Dave let the razor, to Hal’s disappointment, into the toilet and flushed it. 

David dropped Hal, and sat on the side of the tub. He lit a cigarette, and managed to say shakily and painfully, “Why?” Hal sat on the floor adjacent to his legs, the cold tile making him shiver while he cried and babbled uncontrollable apologies. David tried to hold back his tears as he sucked down that entire cigarette. When he finished the cigarette, he couldn’t hold his tears anymore. He let them fall silently. “Why?” He asked again in a weary voice. Hal covered his face and tipped his head back, letting it lean on Dave’s knee. 

“I don’t know,” He said, after they finished crying. They had been sitting in the bathroom for twenty minutes. “I just wanted to distract myself from the fact that I’m the reason why the world is ending.”

“Don’t give yourself so much credit.”

“I let Emma, I let my dad, I- I-”

“Hey, chill.”

Hal began to sob uncontrollably again. David stood, grunting from the stiffness of sitting on such an uncomfortable surface for so long. He offered his mess of a partner his hand to help him up. “Let’s go make some tea.”

\-----------

Hal had settled on the couch with a warm cup of tea, leaning on David. He found an unexplainable attraction to the safety and care of his strong muscles, they made him feel like everything was going to be alright. He didn’t get to feel them against him very often. “Are you ready to talk yet Hal? You don’t have to talk, I just thought you’d feel better.” Hal closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t take this pressure anymore. I let my dad drown. I let Emma die. It was my fault our family fell apart.” Hal took a wavering breath. “I deserved to be sexually abused. I didn’t tell Julie no, I could’ve, but I didn’t.” He paused. David didn’t say anything. “Dad never gave me attention. I did everything I could to impress him, and I just wanted him to love me, you know, like a real father should. He didn’t. He was almost… jealous.”

“Apparently he never paid any attention to Julie either. She vented with me, and we had similar situations. Julie was proud of my achievements, and she loved how much of a father figure I was to Emma. And then, one day, she just… She-” He sniffed. “Julie and I were talking one day, and she just started to kiss my neck. I didn’t tell her no. I loved the attention. And it escalated, more and more until… until we started having sex. At that point I knew it wasn’t right, but I wanted Julie to continue to give me that validation so badly.”

David hummed an angry grunt. “We were sloppy, we didn’t try to hide it. I guess one day dad heard us going at it. I don’t remember if he got the day off, or was home early, but he grabbed Emma and drove his wheelchair into the pool. He wanted them both to drown. Emma survived.” David nodded and pulled Hal closer after he put his cup on the table. “I guess I just can’t live with the fact that it’s my fault. That I don’t have a family.”

David grabbed both of Hal’s shoulders and turned him to face him. “Hal, none of it is your fault.” Hal mustered out a “But-” before Dave cut him off. “NO. Hal, you were a neglected child. She was a grown-ass woman. She knew exactly what she was doing, she knew that you were vulnerable. Your dad was an asshole, he used you for your ideas and he even tried to use you for an experiment. He was never qualified to be a father, ever. You were the perfect child, smart and enthusiastic about your interests, and he couldn’t see that. As for Emma, you were so kind and sweet to her. And when she died, there was nothing we could do Hal, it was too late.”

David pulled Hal closer. “We have each other Hal. I’m your family.” Hal shifted his eyes away from David’s piercing green ones. “But, isn’t a family supposed to-” David shook him gently. “Hal, look at me. I love you, do you understand me?” David didn’t mean to say that. He looked at him cluelessly. “Like a brother or something?” 

“No. It’s… different.”

“Then what else could you mean-”

David leaned in and kissed him. Hal pulled away. “David, I-” He stuttered for a minute, his face turning red. David let go of him. “I’m sorry, I panicked. I hope I didn’t scare you.” Hal shook his head. “N-No, you didn’t.” David turned away and leaned forward. “I just couldn’t take losing you. Banging on that door opened my eyes. I realized that we don’t have forever, and i can’t keep repressing these feelings that I’ve had since we met.”

Hal looked down at his lap. “David, I’m sorry. I never meant to worry you. That was really selfish of me.” David shook his head and leaned back again. “It wasn’t. I think it benefitted us both. Maybe… stop cutting yourself?” Hal nodded. 

“David?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

David smiled a smile that made Hal feel hope. He kissed the soldier on the cheek, and he turned to meet the kiss. They stayed there for a minute, exchanging slow, soft, and gentle kisses. Hal had a feeling in his chest that made him feel like he could fly when Dave put his hand up on his cheek. Hal put his hands against David’s firm and strong chest for the first time, after years of longing to. The kissing subsided and they laid on the couch, cuddled up under a blanket. It was safe there, and both felt happier than they’d ever thought possible.

Later that evening, after a nice cuddle nap, Dave and Hal threw out all of the loose razors together, and redressed Hal’s wound. They were starting anew, both with newly found happiness that neither of them thought they’d ever feel. Hal smiled for the first time since the Big Shell Incident, and David felt like he could live forever. Love can truly bloom on the battlefield, whether it be mentally or physically. They were happy.


End file.
